When Life Asks You to Slow Down: Navigating Your Personal Winters

Blog written by Michelle Oppermann, BSW, RSW (SK) 

There are seasons in life when you can juggle everything — appointments, emotions,  responsibilities, relationships. You respond to messages, remember the details, show up for  everyone, and somehow still manage to hold your world together. You’re “doing life,” even if it isn’t  always graceful. 

And then there are seasons when… suddenly, you’re not. 

The smallest task feels heavy. 

The simplest decision feels impossible. 

Your energy dips, your clarity fades, and you find yourself wondering: 

“What’s happening to me? Why can’t I keep up?” 

If this resonates, you may be moving through what I call a personal winter — a season of transition,  recalibration, and deep internal change. Not a crisis, not a failure, but a shift in the landscape of  your life. 

I’ve been navigating my own winter — menopause, ADHD changes, and the slow, steady realization  that aspects of my life were shaped more by expectation than authenticity.

Winter hasn’t been easy,  but it’s been honest. 

And honesty is where transformation begins. 

What Is a Personal Winter? 

A personal winter isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it arrives quietly, almost unannounced. Other  times it crashes in with force. 

It can show up as: 

• Persistent overwhelm or mental fog 

• Loss of focus or motivation 

• Identity shifts — neurodivergence, gender, sexuality, relationship changes

• Major life transitions like menopause, caregiving, or career change 

• The sense that the way you’ve been living no longer fits 

• Emotional exhaustion that doesn’t go away with rest 

A personal winter is your mind and body saying: 

“Something needs to change — and you can’t keep pushing through.” 

It’s not regression. It’s awakening.

Why Winter Hits Harder for Neurodivergent and

Queer Folks 

Many of the people I support — and many of the experiences I hold myself — sit at the intersections  of neurodivergence, queerness, trauma histories, and years of “holding it all together.” 

For people who have had to mask, adapt, or self-protect, winter can feel especially intense  because: 

• Masking becomes harder 

• Emotional backlog rises to the surface 

• Hormonal shifts amplify everything 

• Old coping strategies stop working 

• Authenticity starts pushing through the cracks 

These shifts are not signs that you’re “falling apart.” 

They’re signs that you’re coming back to yourself. 

Winter strips away what’s unnecessary so you can finally see what’s true. 

Winter Isn’t About Giving Up - It’s About Letting Go 

Nature understands something we often forget: growth requires rest. 

Trees shed their leaves to conserve energy. 

Animals slow down to survive the season. 

Barren fields aren’t dead — they’re preparing. 

Your winter is doing the same. 

It asks you to: 

• Release roles, expectations, and identities that no longer fit 

• Acknowledge your needs without shame 

• Honour your capacity 

• Stop sprinting and start listening 

• Make room for emerging truths 

Winter is not a punishment. 

It’s a pause with purpose. 

My Own Winter, in Real Time

As I move through midlife, I’m realizing how many years I spent living the life I thought I was  supposed to live — striving, pushing, performing. Now, with more clarity and compassion, I’m  choosing something different: a life that honours the real me. Not the version shaped by  expectation, but the one shaped by authenticity, permission, and truth. 

Menopause has reshaped my energy and focus. ADHD has pushed me to rethink my systems and  soften my expectations. And winter has invited me to shift my energy away from performance and  toward alignment — toward the woman I actually am, not the one I thought I had to be. 

Winter didn’t hand me clarity right away. 

It handed me space — and the courage to reimagine. 

Five Ways to Move Through Your Personal Winter With Intention 

1. Slow Down Without Shame 

Your body and mind are allowed to ask for rest. 

Not everything needs to be done today — or perfectly. 

Ask yourself: Where can I soften? What can I release? 

2. Adapt Your Systems to Match Your Capacity 

Especially if you're neurodivergent, winter often requires: 

• Simpler routines 

• External supports and visuals 

• Smaller tasks with real breaks 

• Flexible expectations 

Winter isn’t a season for willpower — it’s a season for support. 

3. Honour Your Identity Shifts 

Maybe you’re claiming your neurodivergence. 

Exploring your gender or sexuality. 

Rewriting your values. 

Letting go of roles that no longer align. 

Identity isn’t fixed. 

You’re allowed to evolve. 

4. Lead With Compassion, Not Criticism 

Replace self-judgment with gentler truths.

Instead of: “I should be handling this better.” 

Try: “I’m allowed to have limits. I’m allowed to be human.” 

Your winter needs warmth, not pressure. 

5. Trust That Spring Will Come 

You will not stay in this season forever. 

Winter is the beginning of something — not the end. 

Slowly, new energy returns. 

New clarity emerges. 

New possibilities take shape. 

And spring grows from everything winter taught you. 

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Season Alone 

I work with adults who are navigating these exact transitions — neurodivergent folks, LGBTQIA+  individuals, couples, caregivers, people in midlife shifts, and anyone exhausted from carrying too  much for too long. 

If you’re in a personal winter right now: 

• overwhelmed 

• questioning 

• unravelling 

• and quietly rebuilding 

You’re not too much. 

You’re not behind. 

You’re not broken. 

You’re in a season that deserves understanding, support, and care. 

If you’re ready, I’d be honoured to walk alongside you as you navigate this season — and whatever comes next. 

Your winter has meaning. 

And you don’t have to move through it alone.

Schedule a 15-min consult call or book your first session with me here.

This idea of 'wintering' is explored in greater detail in Katherine May's memoir titled, "Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult times"